News Vine - A Benoni man was arrested last night after allegedly falling asleep during a robbery—yes, you read that right. 32-year-old Larry “Sleepy” Johnson was found snoring peacefully in the master bedroom of a suburban home, still clutching a half-eaten granola bar from the victim’s pantry.
“We responded to a call about a suspicious noise, and when we arrived, we thought the house was empty,” said Officer Tim Daniels. “Then, we heard what sounded like a chainsaw from the upstairs bedroom. Turns out, it was just Larry, having the best nap of his life.”
According to police reports, Johnson broke into the house around midnight, presumably to steal valuables. But somewhere between rummaging through a jewelry box and unplugging the homeowner’s PlayStation, he discovered what he described as “the softest, most inviting bed I’ve ever encountered.”
“I had been up for two whole days, you know?” Johnson reportedly told officers. “I just laid down for a second to rest my back, and the next thing I knew, I was in handcuffs. That mattress was criminally comfortable.”
The homeowners, who were out of town, were notified of the break-in by their security system, but thought it was a glitch when it alerted them to an “Unidentified Male at Rest.” “We thought it was a malfunction,” said Linda Peters, the homeowner. “Who takes a nap in the middle of a crime? Apparently, Larry does.”
Upon further investigation, police discovered that Johnson had not only made himself at home but also helped himself to a midnight snack. Officers found an open jar of peanut butter, a spoon, and a half-empty glass of milk beside him on the nightstand. “He really set the mood for himself,” said Officer Daniels. “All he needed was a bedtime story.”
Johnson now faces charges of burglary, trespassing, and potentially stealing the homeowners’ Netflix password—if they decide to press charges. Despite his legal troubles, Johnson remains unrepentant. “Look, I messed up, but you gotta admit, that bed was amazing. Where did they get it?”
In an unexpected twist, the homeowners have received several inquiries about their mattress brand. Meanwhile, local police have issued a new warning to criminals: “If you’re going to rob a house, maybe grab a Red Bull first.”